Hide or shine? Finding your professional voice in social media

Did you hear about the CFO who got fired over his YouTube rant? What about the PR exec who torpedoed her career with an inappropriate tweet?

You probably didn’t hear about the banker who met his mentor on an internal social network, the unemployed marketer who found her dream job via LinkedIn, or the corporate communicator who accelerated her career growth by blogging what she learned along the way.

In a world where casual conversations can be shared with the public and archived forever, you have two options: You can hide, or you can embrace social media and use it to shine.

Hide or Shine

I advocate the latter. My blogs have led to professional connections and speaking engagements. At conferences, I use Twitter to capture notes and connect with other attendees. Facebook is more personal, but I occasionally share posts related to my work life, because I’m one person.

Hiding is becoming less of an option as more and more companies invest in internal social networks to connect employees and collaborate. Just like creating a PowerPoint deck or sending a coherent email, professional use of social media is becoming a core competency of workplace communication. The farther you go in your career, the more essential it will become.

What's Shiny in Social Media

I’ve identified three traits I consider most important to professional brand in social media. Do two of these well, and you’ll be pretty successful. Do all three, and you’ll shine.

Authenticity is showing up as your true, sincere, imperfect self. It means showing vulnerability, acknowledging challenges as well as successes, and posting about real, relevant things that happened to you. One of my most authentic blog posts was about a school project that I spectacularly failed. Was it hard to share that story? Absolutely, and that’s why it worked. Likewise, an authentic person steps up and owns his or her success without apology, qualification, or a contrived #humblebrag.

Digital Citizenship is what keeps authenticity from spiraling into narcissism. It’s about recognizing the human beings on your social networks and honoring their contributions. Digital citizenship starts with observing the social norms of your community. The conversational tone of LinkedIn is different from Facebook. Twitter and Instagram both use hashtags, but in different ways. Learn the rhythm of your network and pay attention to the people you know. Write thoughtful comments on their posts. Engage in conversations. Acknowledge their birthdays (Facebook) and work anniversaries (LinkedIn).

Intellectual Generosity means taking what you learn and paying it forward. I have a friend who shares health and fitness advice with her followers daily. It’s not her job, but she’s knowledgeable and intellectually generous. I try to blog on our internal social network after I attend a conference, because my employer invested in my learning and it seems unfair to hoard knowledge I could share with my coworkers. If you’re not a writer, you can still be intellectually generous by sharing links to articles that you find insightful, or quick little tips that make your life easier.

Communicating via social media is a professionally relevant skill, just like being present in a meeting. You can sit quietly, you can hide under the conference table, or you can stand up and shine.

My Year of 6 Bosses: Surviving Organizational Change

I had 6 bosses in 2014, and I’m still at the same company, sitting in the same desk.

#1 had been my leader for 3 years when she told me that my team was being moved under #2, who left the company two months later. #3 created a role for me, then helped me move to a new team under the freshly hired #4, who then decided to hire #5, who decided I fit best under the leadership of #6.

Each leader brought his or her own personality, style, and goals for the team. As I tried to adapt and adjust, I sometimes felt like a raft being tossed about at sea.

Change is part of corporate life, and it’s not new to me. I've been the leader drafting the new org chart. I’ve written emails explaining organizational changes. I've been surprised by HR and shuttled into the conference room with the people who get to keep their jobs, and I've been taken to the other conference room and handed a severance package. This year's changes, in the grand scheme, are not that significant. I still sit in the same office. I work with many of the same colleagues. I didn't bother ordering new business cards.

But I’ll be honest: It was hard. As I look back, I'm trying what I consider the best approach for difficult things: Seek the wisdom in the experience, and pay it forward.

Find your North Star.

The North Star is how you navigate when you have nothing else. It’s what you’re working for, no matter whom you’re working for. Mine is: “I use language to make people’s professional experiences more meaningful.” It connects my skill (communication) with my target audience (professionals) and a sense of purpose (meaning). It’s broad enough to apply to a variety of roles, and has stayed constant even as the details of my job changed.

Write a professional summary.

I had never met Boss #2 when I found out he was going to be my leader. Before our first meeting, I made a one-page document summarizing my skills, experience, and interests, from the perspective of “What would a new leader want to know about me?” It was less formal than a résumé, and organized around how I might be able to contribute in the new team structure. I let him know that I’ve managed people, designed training, and led online communities. I shared my Myers-Briggs type and my StrengthsFinder traits. I told him that I value frequent feedback and that I love presenting to groups. His response: “This is so much more useful than a résumé.”

Try bold ideas.

When the very ground of your company is shifting, cracks open up. You can stare at the cracks, hoping they don’t swallow you, or you can throw seeds into them.

Two years ago, I started a project that ran out of steam when it didn’t get the necessary support from a few key groups. I still believed in my idea, so I brought it up again after the leadership changed. They loved it. The project is moving again, and I get to lead it as part of my new role.

Organizational changes can be a great time to suggest new ideas and better ways of doing things, because new leadership is not attached to the old ways.

See in systems.

Companies are living ecosystems just like ponds or cities; big changes in one area flow through the system and impact the whole population. The organizational changes that I went through were the downstream effects of our company’s growth and reaching the limits of our former structure.

Applying the lens of systems thinking is comforting, because it reminds me that what I’m experiencing is not unique, it’s a predictable pattern, and it’s much larger than me.

Take care of yourself.

During my year of 6 bosses, I gained 25 pounds. I didn’t sleep enough, and I compensated by keeping a Keurig under my desk. Wine was my only sure path to weekend relaxation.

When I found myself hiding behind strategically placed children on my Christmas cards, I joined a fitness class and started making changes to my nutrition and sleep. As my physical health improved, I felt increasingly optimistic and resilient. Everything is easier when you’re healthy, including work.

Show up and shine.

I wrote this note to myself and posted it above my computer. As I wrap up 2014, it feels good to be sitting at my desk and reading this note. I’m still here. I have a job in which I get paid to do work that I love. No matter what the future brings, these are two things that I will continue to do.

25 Leadership Blogs You Could Write Today (with 5 bonus tips!)

Blogging is a great way for leaders to communicate with employees. It fosters community, conversation, learning, and relationships that cross the org chart. If you’re stuck on “What do I write about?” here are a few suggestions.

1. Include a link to an interesting news or business article that you read, and share your own perspective on it.
2. Did you recently go to a conference or seminar? Share highlights of what you learned.
3. Share career advice with employees who aspire to your role.
4. Share career advice you wish someone had given you.
5. Write about the best mentor, leader, or teacher that you ever had.
6. Write about the worst day you ever had at work, and what you learned from it.
7. Is this the career you planned to be in, or are you surprised by where you ended up? Discuss.
8. Write a “day in the life” journal of either a typical day, or a unique one.
9. Write about how one of your hobbies or outside interests (sports, family, gardening, etc.) has shaped your professional perspective.
10. Give your own take on a broad business topic, e.g., customer service, personal accountability, planning, time management.
11. Take one of your organization’s values or principles and explain what it means to you. Depending on how many values your company has, this could be a series of multiple blogs.
12. Tell us how you do that thing that makes others ask, “How did you do that?”
13. Share the most important things you learned in college or graduate school, now that you’re X years after graduation.
14. Compare and contrast: What you thought effective leadership was at the beginning of your career, versus what you value today.
15. Share the spotlight: Celebrate the success of a team or work group by telling their story.
16. Make a list, e.g.: 10 Things You Don’t Know About Me, 5 Mistakes New Leaders Often Make, or 7 Tips for Presenting to Executives.
17. Visit one of your company’s stores or branches where you don’t know anybody, or call the service center. Write about your experience from a customer’s perspective. (Only mention employees by name if your feedback is positive)
18. Do the above, but with a competitor.
19. Test-drive a new technology, such as Google Glass or 3D printing, and write about your experience.
20. Compile a list of the mobile apps that you can’t live without.
21. List 3-5 books that greatly influenced you, and explain why.
22. Share your goals (personal, professional, or both) for a specific future timeframe – 3 months, 1 year, 10 years.
23. Write a “Throwback Thursday” entry – Tell us about something interesting that happened to you a long time ago.
24. Is this your first blog? Acknowledge your newness and tell your readers why you decided to start blogging, and how it feels to be putting your words out in this format for the first time.
25. Turn it around: Pose a question you find interesting, invite readers to answer in the comments, then join in the conversation by commenting on your own blog.

#170024763 / gettyimages.com

5 Bonus Tips!

• The tone of your blog should be conversational, friendly, and sincere. Write in the same voice you would address your employees in a meeting or via email.
• Even if you’re brand new to this, you already have the skills to do it well. If you can write a clear email or present before a group in a meeting, you’re over halfway to a great blog.
• Break up your text visually with frequent paragraph breaks, subsections, bulleted lists, or (better yet!) photos. Big text blocks are ugly and hard to read.
• Personal stories are always more interesting than vague platitudes.
• Vulnerability is the new black for leaders.

The Best, Worst & Weirdest Parts of Business Travel

Best:

Going out to eat by myself. In my everyday life, a restaurant dinner requires forethought, spousal agreement, and either a babysitter or crayons and a paper placemat. On a business trip, I can eat what I want, when I want, and not have to share the bread basket.

Having two beds to choose among, or a king-size all to myself. Plus, ALL the pillows. Not enough pillows in the room? I'll just call for more.

Meeting new people - or not. On a recent flight, I sat in front of a mom traveling alone with a 9-month-old baby. I played peekaboo with the baby, chatted with the mom, and reassured her that the little coos and whimpers and occasional cries didn't bother me a bit. On my flight home, I read a novel and didn't speak to a soul.

Seeing coworkers in a new way. I can build a good rapport with a colleague through online communication and conference calls, but there's something uniquely powerful about meeting in person. It extends beyond handshakes and body language; there's a basic understanding of what someone is like that comes from interacting in an environment away from everyday work. 

Feeling important. The company valued my contributions enough to pay for me to be somewhere else. That, in and of itself, is pretty awesome.

Worst: 

Missing my family.  As much as I enjoy the extra pillows and the in-room coffee and the polite strangers calling me "Mrs. Wiant," it doesn't take long for me to miss my husband's company, my kids' hugs, and the happy chaos of our household. If I go somewhere dull, I long for home. If I go somewhere beautiful or fun, I wish they were along to share the experience.

That guy with the sinus thing. No matter where I go, he seems to always stay in the room next to mine. I'm tempted to call the front desk and ask them to send a box of Kleenex and some cough drops to his room.

Worrying about the expense report. Is it a prudent use of company resources to pay $50 to check a bag on an overnight trip? Did that Clif Bar I stole from the minibar show up as alcohol? Did I remember to get a receipt from the taxi driver? These are the things that keep me up at night.

Waking up in the middle of the night with no idea where I am or why I am there. This doesn't happen on every trip, but it always freaks me out when it does.

There are never, ever enough outlets in the hotel room. And the odds are approximately 80% that I will leave my phone charger plugged into one of them.

There isn't much time. I typically try to keep business trips short, to minimize time away from my family and to be a responsible steward of the company's money. I was just in Kansas City for less than 24 hours. I didn't eat barbecue. I didn't hear blues music. All I saw of the city was the inside of a Marriott and a few nice views from the back of a taxi.

Weirdest:

The perfection of ginger ale on an airplane. I don't drink sugared soda very often. I don't even think I like soda. But for some reason, a little plastic cup of ginger ale with cylindrical ice cubes served at 34,000 feet tastes like an effervescent bit of heaven.

The "Stand up or you'll miss it!" people. When the gate agent at the airport says, "We'll begin boarding in a few minutes," I figure I have time to finish a chapter of my book, visit the restroom, and get a snack before they're through with first class, passengers needing extra assistance, frequent fliers, active military personnel, and the 4 zones ahead of me. I am amused by the people who hear the same message and spring to their feet, gripping their bags, ready to pounce on their opportunity to stand and wait 20 minutes.

The aging effect of air travel. No matter how long or short my flight, I always look 10 years older when I step off the plane. My makeup is gone, my hair is flat, I have dark circles and new lines under my eyes.

The inconsistency of plumbing. I have heard that every person thinks him or herself intelligent, until faced with operating someone else's shower. It's embarrassing to call the front desk and ask for an explanation, but still better than showing up unwashed for an important meeting.

The welcome I receive from my cats. Tonight, after I returned from a 1-day trip, my cat Max sharpened his claws on our nicest furniture, jumped onto the countertop, knocked a bunch of picture frames onto the floor, and began aggressively transferring white-and-orange fur onto my black jacket - all within 2 minutes of my walking in the door. I've never had a dog, but I believe they are happy to see their owners come home. Meanwhile, cats are irritated that their owners left.

Do you have a best, worst, or weird experience? I'd love to hear about it.

Do's and Don'ts of Communicating Organizational Change

For the last few months, my organization has been changing. I have a new leader, I'll soon have some new employees. I've been through more org changes than I can count on my fingers, but this is my first as a leader, and the best one yet. I'm not steering the ship - I'm one of those org chart boxes in the middle - but I've learned a few things that I would like to pass on to other leaders and communicators.


When planning an organizational change:

Don't take the surprise party approach. It never works. Employees can smell change in the air, and they notice when certain leaders start having long meetings with Human Resources in conference rooms. It breeds suspicion and fear. Instead, be transparent: "We're looking at our team's structure to see if it's the best approach." Chances are, your employees have already noticed that your department might benefit from some shuffling, and they may have some useful feedback or suggestions.

Do make space to dream. When we first found out that we would be reporting to a new leader and that our roles would be changing, I started by having a lengthy conversation with my employees about our team's work. What was working well? What needed attention? What would they do completely differently if we could start from scratch? These conversations are inspiring and energizing. 

Do ask your people what they want. I manage a small team, and I feel like I know each of my employees well: their strengths, their interests, their career aspirations. We talk about these topics at annual reviews, at goal-setting sessions, and regularly at our 1:1s. However, an org change can stir up new ideas and interests. It's worth asking questions like "What do you most enjoy doing?" and "Where would you like to go next?" even if you think you know the answer.

Don't lie to people. I was once in a conference room, listening to a HR manager explain a new organizational structure. She said, "This is not a RIF" (our internal acronym for Reduction in Force). The problem was, the PowerPoint document on her screen - which was projected for everyone in the room to see - was titled with the name of our department and the acronym "RIF." My job was officially eliminated a few weeks later.


When announcing a decision:

Do tell the affected people as soon as possible. The people most affected by an org change are the ones who are getting new managers, new job titles, or new teammates. Or, of course, severance packages. Once a decision has been made, they should be the first to know. The rest of the "FYI" list can wait. There's nothing worse than finding out about your own career change through the office grapevine.

Do follow a communication plan with clear dates, time of day, and order of notifications. During a layoff at another company, the telecom team shut off voice mail and extensions for terminated employees before HR had the conversation with the affected people. Nobody knew why certain coworkers' extensions were showing as "vacant" - until an hour later, when everybody knew. Time of day matters.

Do bring people together as humans. Shortly after I found out I had a new leader, he invited me to lunch. A few days later, he invited our entire local team to a hockey game. These little gestures went a long way to alleviating my fear of the unknown. Nobody wants to report to an unfamiliar name on the org chart. If you're inheriting new employees, get to know them in a friendly, low-key setting as quickly as possible. If those employees are spread across different offices, invest in the travel if at all humanly possible.


When you don't know any more about what's going on than your employees do:

Don't be Chicken Little. Leaders set the tone. Don't tell everyone that the sky is falling or the department is crumbling, even if you sometimes fear that it is. Remind yourself and your employees: You're smart, you're skilled at what you do, and the best thing you can do each day is show up and shine your brightest and embrace the opportunities around the corner.

Don't make it all about yourself. A friend found out on a Thursday afternoon that half of her team was laid off. When she returned to work on Friday morning, her manager wasn't there. The manager still had a job, but she had spent the morning exercising with her personal trainer and getting a massage. She was so tense, she explained to her employees when she arrived two hours late. So were they, and the support and reassurance of their leader would have gone a long way.

Do acknowledge the emotions that it stirs up. Even a re-organization with no layoffs, no budget cuts, and great opportunities for everybody is still incredibly emotional. Your employees have been working for a boss they know, doing a familiar job, and suddenly everything is thrown into chaos. There's the uncertainty of adapting to a new leader and new coworkers, the merging of different teams' processes and cultures, and often an insecurity about where they will fit in the new world order. For some people, it's an exhilarating time of opportunity. For others, it's a terrifying loss of control. Often, it's both. Acknowledge this. Let your employees know that it's perfectly normal to grieve for the old way, and to be apprehensive about the new one. Soon, the new way will become familiar, and you'll wonder how you ever worked any differently.

Do embrace the positive. Change can be scary, but change can be wonderful. It's a catalyst for creativity. Things that were previously too difficult suddenly become possible. It can bring clarity and insight. It can bust you out of a rut and turn you into a better, braver version of yourself.

The best thing about change is that it always, always teaches us something. I'm here, excited, and ready to learn.

After the tone, please hang up and text me: Why I hate voicemail

"Woohoo, voicemail!"

Do you ever think that? I don't. I see the red light on my work phone and I feel like I've been sternly called into the boss's office.

Voicemail is among my least favorite forms of communication, somewhere between "barely legible Post-It note" and "swift kick to the shins." The good news is, I think it will soon go the way of the pager and the overhead projector, and here's why:

It's awkward. There is something disconcerting about hearing one side of a conversation. It's why hearing a stranger yammer on their cell phone is more annoying than hearing two people chatting nearby. Our brain perceives the gaps and longs to fill them with replies or questions. I'll sometimes say, "Wait, what was that?" while replaying a voicemail, but the person at the other end never pauses.

It's slow. My office phone won't let me delete a message until I've played it all the way through. This is annoying when our school district's auto-dialer leaves a 3-minute recording listing every after-school activity that's cancelled because of the truly awful weather. (All of them. They're all cancelled. Let's move on, please.)

Replying isn't always simple. When you receive an email, you can see who it's from and reply with a click. About once a month, I get a voicemail from an elderly woman who has mistaken my office phone number for that of her adult son or daughter. She begins with "Hi, it's your Mom" in heavily accented English, then switches into an unfamiliar Asian language for a 15-20 minute monologue which ends with "Call me, I miss you." I don't know how to tell her she has the wrong number. Meanwhile, her actual son or daughter is receiving bilingual guilt trips for never returning Mom's calls.*

It puts the burden on the receiver. Is leaving a long voicemail easier than sending an email message? Yes, for the person who's leaving the message. Email requires you to organize your thoughts. Texting requires you to pare down your message to its most essential components. A stream-of-consciousness voicemail is much easier to give than to receive.

It's mostly obsolete. Answering machines and voicemail filled a  gap before email or texting, when you needed to get a message to a person who wasn't available to take your call. Pagers and fax machines were handy, too, but we're doing fine without them.

It's the worst of both worlds. Talking on the phone has some huge advantages over written communication: You can hear tone of voice, express empathy, and engage in warmer dialogue than via email. But much of that warmth dissipates when you're leaving a soliloquy at the command of a disembodied robot voice.


I can think of two scenarios in which voicemail is the best tool available: 1. When you're driving (although, really, 99% of the time, it can wait) and 2. When you need to reach somebody, the only contact info you have is their phone number, and you're not sure if that number accepts texts.

If you can think of another scenario, let me know. Just don't leave me a voicemail.

* This is especially weird, because I also have an immigrant mother whom I don't call often enough. She leaves me sweet voicemails in Polish, in which she introduces herself as my Mom. I'm teaching her to email.

This wasn't in the course catalog: A lesson about feedback and failure

It was an embarrassment to the university, a sad omen for the future of corporate America. Those were perhaps the gentlest words that my professor used.

In the last year of my MBA program, I took a logistics seminar that felt easy. There were no quizzes or homework assignments. The lectures were loose and breezy, full of the professor's anecdotes about his consulting experiences. Our entire grade was based on two group projects, the first of which was to analyze a local company's supply chain.

My academic strategy involved waiting until the night before something was due, panicking, pulling an all-nighter, cranking out a few pages of stream-of-consciousness writing that I'd be too embarrassed to re-read later, and earning a B, or an A- if I was lucky.

My group included two guys like me: deadline driven (i.e., procrastinating), busy people with full-time jobs and a heavy courseload. One of them even had a kid. We split out the work: one guy would research shipping costs and times, I'd build a database to compare vendors and track the inventory, and our third teammate would work on our presentation. Divide and conquer. Easy. Done.

The day of our presentation, I arrived at class an hour early to meet my group, my data sheets still warm from the office printer, ready for that heroic feeling of delivering in the nick of time. My teammate said there was no PowerPoint, he had been busy, but he could wing it. He pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocket. It was titled "Things to talk about" with a few messily scrawled bullet points below.

What followed was the longest class of my academic career. For 5 hours, we watched each group present their supply chain recommendations to the local business owners and the professor. Mostly, they were the type of lightweight, surface-skimming presentations I had seen at work, at conferences, and in other business classes. Only this time, instead of the polite acknowledgement I was used to, the professor ripped them to shreds. He asked detailed questions and watched the students falter. He told them their presentations were boring, shallow, obviously thrown together at the last minute.

We went last. I nervously rambled through my database, and it was obvious I didn't really understand the data. When my teammate produced "Things to talk about" and started rambling, the professor interrupted us.

"That was the stupidest thing I have ever heard," he said. "Sit down. Your paper had better be f*ing brilliant."

Paper? We were supposed to write a paper?

The professor apologized to the business owner for wasting her time, excused her, and delivered an impassioned, obscenity-laden admonishment to us. Several students, myself included, were in tears by the end. I jotted down every insult and swear word so I could prepare a letter to the dean the next morning.

My first reaction was outrage. How could he talk to his students like this? Where was his professionalism? If every group failed, then didn't he share some accountability? The assignment wasn't clearly written, there weren't enough checkpoints, and the lectures didn't tie to the project.

The other feeling, the one that took longer to surface, was my knowledge that he was right. We had blown off the assignment. As MBA students, we should have had the intelligence to dive deep into the subject matter, the discipline to produce high-quality work in a loosely structured course, and the leadership skills to collaborate and hold our teammates accountable.

He let us redo the assignment. I set aside the database and volunteered for the part of the project that aligned with my strengths: I wrote the paper. And I wrote the hell out of that thing. I compiled my teammates’ detailed research, I did multiple revisions, I sent it to my team a week before the due date, I even made my husband read it as an objective third party. He needed a glass of scotch to get through it - well-written or not, supply chain management just isn't that fun to read about.

On a Saturday morning, we took another shot at our presentation. We had collaborated on the slides and practiced beforehand. We stood in front of the class and confidently shared our knowledge. We answered the professor's tough questions. We got an A. We immediately got to work on our final project and got an A on that, too.

I don't remember much about logistics, but I remember exactly what it felt like to be called out for performing below my potential. It was humiliating and it was physically uncomfortable (I can pinpoint the spot in my abdomen where I felt the shame) and it motivated me to do and be better. If he had politely applauded our presentation and given us a B-, we might have turned up our effort a little bit for the final, but probably not by much.

My professor gave me a gift wrapped in a rough, ugly package. He showed me the power of honest, critical feedback.

The hardest part of receiving feedback is rising above our natural, defensive reaction to criticism. If the criticism is delivered poorly - as it was in my classroom - it's easy to demonize the person who delivered it and brush it off altogether. We frame it as an either/or proposition: He was rude, and therefore his criticism of me was unwarranted. More often, it's both/and: He was rude, and I did a poor job on the assignment.

I wish I could say that I never procrastinated another assignment, or that I became a maestro of group work and team projects. It's not true. My professor shined a harsh, glaring light on a piece of myself that I am still working on, 10 years later.

This, I learned: Applauding and accepting mediocre work perpetuates it. Giving honest feedback in a respectful way is a skill that every leader must hone. And, if a message is so hard to hear that it hits me in the stomach, I best sit up and pay attention – because there’s something valuable in there.

My LinkedIn Success Story

I achieved a career milestone yesterday, my first talk at a professional conference. It went well. I channeled my nervous energy into enthusiasm. I shared anecdotes and metaphors and slides with more pictures than words. I saw myself quoted on Twitter and even had a few people tell me mine was their favorite session of the day. You wouldn't have guessed I was a rookie, unless you saw me photographing my badge.

So, how did I achieve this milestone? Two words... Or maybe it's one. LinkedIn.

I started using LinkedIn in earnest five years ago, when I was looking for a job halfway across the country. I wrote a detailed profile, joined a few groups, and connected with some strangers whose interests aligned with mine. It was on LinkedIn that I first spotted the posting that I called "the big bank job."

Nowadays, pretty much everyone knows that LinkedIn is helpful for job hunters. What I didn't know is how valuable it can be when you're happily employed.

I work in Internal Communications. We're a small team at a big company, and it's easy to feel like outliers, writers among bankers. But every time I go to a conference, I remember that we're not unique. Every big company has people like us. We tend to be alike: English majors, ex-journalists, storytellers who found a creative outlet in a corporate landscape. On our best days, we help bank tellers and cube dwellers feel connected to the company's culture and values. We have strong opinions on Oxford commas, Sharepoint, and most-hated corporate buzzwords (yes, no, and utilize).

We're all trying to solve the same problems. Why shouldn't we learn from each other? It's a non-competitive space. Customers don't see our internal communications. Employees don't study our intranet, compare it to a competitor's, and then choose to take their talent to the company with the prettier corporate news page.

I started following LinkedIn groups because I wanted to know what other communicators were doing. I started posting in them because I saw a space to contribute.

That's how I met Jane, a French consultant researching digital workplaces. She asked interesting questions; I answered them. She asked to quote me in her report; I got the proper permissions from my employer and said Yes. She invited me to Washington, DC to speak at this conference with her.

Last night, sitting around a dinner table with Jane and a dozen like-minded professionals from around the world, I remembered that there's a unique energy to in-person networking, an honesty and connection that flows from a bottle of wine and a shared passion for the work you do. Those connections can take shape online. They start with openness, curiosity, and intellectual generosity.

I'm writing this blog so perhaps it will inspire someone else to put him or herself out there. If you ever feel isolated in your job, you're not. If you wonder whether you can grow your career without changing jobs, you can.

Here are my tips for finding authentic connections online: Show up. Join groups. Be more kind than necessary. Listen to people before you speak to them. Add value. If people around you are being self serving and dull, fill the space with what is needed and be the person you would like to meet. Always, always show gratitude for those who help you along the way.

I was almost too busy to write this blog.

I almost didn’t attend the presentation yesterday. It was a noontime talk about "Reflective Leadership," the sort of learning opportunity that tends to fall by the wayside when you're busy. Wednesday was looking like a protein-bar-at-my-desk kind of workday as deadlines converged, meetings loomed, and my inbox swelled over capacity.

At the last moment, I decided to make the time.

As often happens, the message I almost didn’t have time for was exactly what I needed to hear.

Joe Cavanaugh, the speaker, leads a local nonprofit called Youth Frontiers. They work with schools to teach children and teenagers about kindness, compassion, character, and values. They hold retreats that fight bullying by helping young people see and connect with one another as human beings. He had a similar message for the grownups in the room today.

As we were waiting for the presentation to begin, the atmosphere was typical of an event where most attendees don’t know each other: a few conversations were sprinkled about, but mostly people sat in their chairs, looked at their smartphones or flipped quietly through the handouts. I checked my iPhone and chimed in on a Facebook discussion with faraway friends. There were people sitting on either side of me in the conference room, but I didn’t notice them. As the presentation began I put away my phone, a little reluctantly, knowing that if I left it out I’d be unable to resist looking at it.

I love technology. My iPad is a constant companion. When something interesting happens to me, I start composing the status update or blog in my head. Many of my closest friends are people I met online. I’m an unapologetic optimist about social media’s ability to connect people, bridge distances, and build communities.


Joe told us to turn to the person next to us and talk for 30 seconds each about our favorite childhood toys. I had never met the gentleman next to me, but after a moment of awkwardness I felt instantly connected with his story of setting up army men in the backyard and staging elaborate scenarios. I recounted my own menagerie of stuffed animals and their fearless leader, the lion.


It’s amazing what happens when people stop, look at one another, and have a simple conversation about something that is personally meaningful. The room sparkled with positive energy. People laughed. My phone suddenly seemed a lot less interesting.


Joe brought us back to attention by saying “We just wasted one minute.” He told us of a few minutes he “wasted” looking at clouds with his daughter, and how those were the most important minutes of his summer.


I won’t attempt to paraphrase his talk, but I can share the message that resonated most with me:

Slow down. Reflect. Notice the people around you. Listen to them. Remember what is most important and remember who is most important.

Technology and social media can help us build communities and connect with people, but they can also isolate us from people in our physical presence.

I’m inspired to do a few things differently:

• I will make more of an effort to smile and greet the people in my presence: store clerks, coworkers in the hallway, the neighbors whose names I don’t know.

• I will think twice before pulling out the phone or iPad in those little moments when conversation is an option: waiting for a meeting to begin, for example.

• I will carve out time in each workday to be human with my coworkers – stepping away from the blinking instant meessages and clusters of email – and dedicating my full attention to a person on the phone or in my presence.

• As a leader, I’ll be extra cognizant of being present and appreciative with my team. No matter how busy I am, they deserve to hear “Good morning” from me and to know that I care about what’s important to them today.

• When I am online, whether at work or at home, I will remember that those friends and coworkers deserve my attention also. I’ll make time to sit down, read their posts, and thoughtfully respond to and acknowledge what they’re communicating. My online friends deserve more than a distracted “like” from me while I’m walking down the street or waiting for takeout, especially if I’m just using the phone as a crutch to avoid eye contact with strangers.



Attention is a precious gift that we can give to one another. It’s worth a lot more when it’s undivided.

I wasted another lunch hour writing this blog… but if someone else needed this message, it was the most productive hour of my day.

Notes From New York: Internal Social Media

Last week, I had the opportunity to represent U.S. Bank at a meeting of Social Media.org, a council of like-minded professionals from large companies. The topic of our meeting was internal social media, or how we use social tools to connect employees. While I can’t share the details of the people or companies who made these statements, here are some of my favorite nuggets of knowledge that I brought home:



Finding expertise – There are people who need information. There are people who have information. In a big company, they may not be aware of who each other are… until the right tool allows them to connect.

Knowledge is power – This isn’t new, but an internal social network turns old dynamics upside down. Sharing knowledge gives you visibility and influence; hoarding knowledge makes you a non-entity. Anyone, anywhere in the organization, can share knowledge and build credibility based on what they know and how well they communicate it.

Leadership support is critical - While social media is a great democratizer, the voices of leaders (especially executives) resonate loudest. You don’t need every leader to be on board right away, but you do need someone to shine the beacon.

Leaders care what employees are saying – Gather key messages and themes from your internal social network and present it to leaders in a format they can use for their Monday meeting.
Asking questions – Even if the answer is in a FAQ somewhere, there is something important and inherently personal about asking a question of an online community. Give people that opportunity: Let them feel heard, valued, and supported through the act of asking and receiving an answer.

Trust your employees – Give real answers from real experts. If an employee is complaining about a benefit change, have a HR leader post a straight explanation of the rationale for the change. People may not agree with every policy, but they respect honesty. Don’t force a communications rep to be a messenger of vague platitudes.

Participation – When setting your expectations for participation, remember the 90-9-1 rule of online communities: 1% of members contribute original content, 9% comment or respond to content, and 90% are lurkers.

Conversations happen - If you’re concerned about giving employees access to social media, because they might have off-topic conversations or share incorrect info… remember that those conversations happen anyway in office hallways or on Facebook. Putting them on an internal social network gives you transparency, insight, a safe environment, and a chance to be part of the dialogue.

Blog your best news – Using a blog lets you brag and share your team’s accomplishments without blasting a self-promoting email to 200 people.



And, a few "Don'ts" -

Don’t design tools for the people who never use them. Find the people who are hungry to use social tools, and design with them in mind. Don’t waste your energy trying to please the people who don’t get it. They’ll adopt the tools eventually, when they’re left with no choice.


Don’t promote the tool for its own sake. Tell true, detailed stories about how social networking will make work easier, will make employees more effective, will solve real problems that people are facing today.

Don’t send everyone through the same training. Technical training should be optional, self-paced, and delivered at the time of need. Policies should be taught through examples: Offer a “social media challenge of the week” and ask employees how they would respond to a realistic scenario. Don’t make everyone sit through a boring class or click through a web-based course that they’ll instantly forget.



I expect more ideas to form as I continue going through my conference notes and having follow-up conversations with the people I met in New York.

Most striking to me was the similarity of our experiences. Even though we were in different companies, across different industries, using different technology, we all faced the same challenges. The adoption curve is steep, culture change is slow, and enterprise technology isn’t always nimble. But learning from each other, talking through our problems, and sharing our suggestions convinced me how important this work is. People are natural collaborators. We’re never going to achieve our best results working in silos, isolated from one another. It’s true for the tireless champions of internal social media at companies around the world, and it’s true for the employees we’re working to connect.

5 New(ish) Communication Skills Leaders Need

“I’ll never use Facebook. Forget Linked In; that’s why I have a Rolodex. The symbol # is called pound, and it’s a button on my phone – which is plugged into my wall.”

If this sounds like you, I have some bad news and some good news.

The bad news is, social media isn’t a trend you’ll be able to wait out. In 10 years, Facebook may look as dated as a pair of acid wash jeans, but the concept of being in simultaneous conversation with just about everyone you know – that idea is significantly, permanently changing the way human beings relate to the world and one another. Leading employees in this world requires us to strengthen and practice a new set of communication skills.

The good news is, you can develop these skills without sending a single tweet.

1. Do dialogue well.

Meetings make us worse at dialogue. In a crowded meeting room, time is limited, and the ideas that prevail are the ones that get spoken aloud before moving to the next agenda topic. Traditional business meetings condition us to await our turn to speak, rather than to listen with an open mind.

Dialogue is fluid, collaborative, and open-ended. With online dialogue, there are no limits to how long your conversation can last and how many voices can be heard. You can comment on a blog written four years ago. In discussion forums, "off-topic" threads tend to be the most lively. Respect this openness and resist the urge to control every conversation or spin it back to a pre-formulated agenda. Creative ideas and surprising connections often come from unstructured conversations.


2. Make feedback a daily habit.

We live in a world where people are accustomed to giving and hearing immediate feedback on matters large and small. On Twitter, people constantly and instantly share their opinions about everything from Congressional decisions to new flavors of potato chips. On Facebook, we post a photo or status update and wait for the comments and “Likes” to roll in.

It’s unrealistic and unfair to expect our employees to only give and receive feedback about their jobs once a year. While annual reviews and surveys are useful tools, conversations about job performance and work environment need to be ongoing. Facebook asks its users “What’s on your mind?” every day. Your employees deserve the same courtesy from you.


3. Be succinct.

Twitter’s magic is brevity. Whether or not you tweet, practice distilling important messages into 140 characters for impact and clarity.


4. Respect communication styles and preferences.

Quick: Identify the introverts and extraverts on your team. Can you do it?

Introverts tend to develop their best ideas through quiet reflection, while extraverts draw energy from social interactions and prefer to “think aloud.” Some people straddle the middle ground, but most of us have a dominant style. If you're unfamiliar with introversion, listen to this TED talk for an insightful explanation.

Engage your team in a variety of ways to let the different styles shine. Use brainstorming meetings to engage extraverts, but send out the materials ahead of time or keep a discussion forum going afterward so that introverts have time to process and analyze the data before responding.


5. Know which tool to use for maximum impact.

Not every message is best expressed via email. I recently blogged about how to choose among the tools in our toolbox. As online communication evolves, we’re likely to see new tools added and refined.

Also, find out the preferred communication tool for each of your employees. Some people appreciate the speed and simplicity of instant messenger, while others find it intrusive. Some people love to talk on the phone, while others order their pizzas online. With more tools than ever, there are more ways to perfectly reach the people with whom you communicate.

Even if your phone is still plugged into a wall.

E-Mail is a #2 Pencil: Choosing the Right Communication Tool

Most of us learn to draw with crayons and learn to write with a pencil. In elementary school, we’re handed markers, watercolor paints, glue sticks and elbow macaroni. Later, we get access to the dangerous tools like pastels, Xacto knives, and Adobe Creative Suite. If you’re brave and artistic, these tools are liberating. For the rest of us, it’s tempting to keep reaching for those trusty yellow pencils; they feel good in our hands, we remember how to hold them, and we always know which end is the eraser.

The tools we have to communicate with one another are like the supplies in an artist’s tool box. Knowing when to pick up the right one can mean the difference between a masterpiece and the grayest sunset ever.

I’m not claiming to be Rembrandt, but here’s my attempt at organizing the toolbox most of us bring to work each day:



E-Mail
Best features: It’s familiar, comfortable, and everyone uses it. It’s the #2 pencil of communications tools.

Drawbacks: Everyone uses it. Inbox overload is a common problem. Reply-All volleyball matches and unwieldy file attachments are excruciating.

What it’s best for: The two paragraph conversation. Direct requests for action or information. Urgent announcements.

When it doesn’t work: Discussions with large groups, very short messages (consider using instant messenger instead), sensitive topics or contentious debates (just pick up the phone, already!)

Tips for using it well: Be brief, but not curt. Start with a short greeting, and make your request or call to action clear. Close with a word of thanks. The key to using email well is to know when not to use it: If your message is more than three paragraphs long or takes more than 20 minutes to write, set up a meeting instead. If your topic is sensitive and you’re at all concerned about how the other person will react, pick up the phone or talk in person. If your file attachment is bigger than 1 MB, post the document on a file-sharing site and email your audience the link instead. If you’re hoping for a lively back-and-forth conversation with a group, use an online discussion forum.



Instant Messenger
Best features: You can get someone’s attention immediately. The conversation doesn’t linger afterward and clog your inbox. It’s easy to use and you can tell whether someone is available, busy, or offline. You can send file attachments or screenshots.

Drawbacks: Flashing messages can trigger anxiety if you’re busy or get too many at once.

What it’s best for: The two-sentence conversation: Little nuggets of info, quick questions with easy answers.

When it doesn’t work: Long, complex conversations. Requests that require research, follow-up, or a record of the conversation. Discussions with more than 3-4 people.

Tips for using it well: Start conversations with a friendly greeting. If you’re making a request of someone, ask if they have a moment to chat. Set your own status to “In a Meeting” or “Do Not Disturb” or sign out altogether if you are unavailable.


Meetings
Best features: Face to face (or voice to voice) contact strengthens communication with body language, vocal inflection, and full attention (or so we hope).


Drawbacks: Costly, in terms of time - a 1-hour meeting with 20 people costs the bank 20 hours of productivity. In large meetings, more vocal/extraverted participants tend to dominate the conversation.

What it’s best for: Brainstorming with small groups (fewer than 10), making big/high-level announcements to larger groups, team building and camaraderie

When it doesn’t work: Decision making and brainstorming with large groups, presenting detailed information to large groups

Tips for using it well: Keep your meeting small and ask yourself if it’s the best use of everyone’s time. If you’re including more than 10 attendees, consider using a blog (to give news updates) or a discussion forum (to brainstorm or make a decision) instead of or in addition to your meeting. Check out some of my tips for making the most of offsite meetings and conference calls.


Online Discussion Forum
Best features: Enables many:many conversation, where multiple participants can post messages, read, and reply to one another. More effective than meetings at giving everyone a voice, especially introverts.

Drawbacks: Newer technology, has a learning curve. People often need to be reminded to participate (email helps). Depending on your company's available technology, creating a forum or community with all of your participants may require extra effort.

What it’s best for: Brainstorming and problem-solving with groups of 5 or more. Socializing and team building with a geographically diverse group. Crowdsourcing – posing a question to a large group without knowing exactly who will have the answer.

When it doesn’t work: Quick decisions or strong declarations – If you open yourself up to everyone’s input, be prepared to receive and listen to it.

Tips for using it well: Follow the same rules of politeness that you would in a meeting. Don't try to rein in the conversation if it veers slightly off-topic; the magic of this medium is its openness.



Blog
Best features: Easy online publishing, supports sharing of photos and videos, allows user comments, reach an interested audience without imposing on people’s time or inbox space.

Drawbacks: Learning curve. Depending on where you post it, your blog may attract readers outside of your intended audience.

What it’s best for: Project updates, leadership messaging, knowledge sharing, an elegant alternative to meetings and emails

When it doesn’t work: Urgent messages – Since blogging is a “pull” communication method, your readers may not find you right away unless you email them.

Tips for using it well:  The next time you're getting ready to send a mass email to your team, copy/paste the message into a blog instead, and email your team the link. See how they respond.

Bacon and Blackberries: 6 Tips for Offsite Meetings

"Offsite meeting." 

For most business people, these words evoke the sensation of dozing off in a stuffy conference room far from home.

Last week, I attended a really good offsite. My leader brought our 70-member department together for 2 1/2 days, and it was energizing, thought-provoking, and fun. On the way home, I pondered how she pulled off this feat.


1. Location, location, location.

The worst place for an offsite: A conference room in your own building. Sure, it’s easy and inexpensive, but it’s also not off-site. Familiar surroundings promote everyday thinking. Offsites are designed to elevate the level of thinking, to accomplish things that are important and distinct from the day-to-day work.

Last week's offsite was held at Friendship Park in Cincinnati; we were in a beautiful, well-ventilated building with a glass wall that provided a view of the park. The occasional distractions of joggers and Segway tours were offset by the pretty scenery and the sense that we were in a space without boundaries.

The perfect location might be right under your nose. At a prior job, my manager held an offsite at her house. It was a lovely home, and it gave us a chance to connect with her and each other on a more personal level.


2. Don’t do anything for longer than an hour.

With the exception of Hollywood blockbusters, there aren’t many things people will enjoy sitting and watching for more than one hour. If you have four hours worth of content to share, chunk it up. Have one speaker present for an hour, then give the group a break, then do an interactive and fun activity before bringing out the next speaker.


3. Be present, literally and mentally.

The Blackberry stays on the table.

My department is made up of busy people, and each of us had left our cell phone number on our voicemail message in case of a work emergency. The ground rules were laid out early: If your phone rings, you may step outside and take the call, but everything else can wait.

It makes a noticeable difference when you’re in a room full of people who are not multi-tasking. When the devices are set down, the emails are ignored, and we’re all focused on the conversation happening in the room right now, the time together is more productive and powerful.


4. Food matters.

I’m not a nutritionist, and I’m still waiting for a scientific study that shows the effects of conference food on attendees’ learning and participation. But here’s my hypothesis:

Two or three hours after eating, blood sugar drops and a person’s energy level plummets. The cliff is steeper if that last meal was heavy on the simple carbs. If you stuff people full of doughy sandwiches and cookies at noon, then take away all food until dinner, prepare for a pretty exhausted audience by about 3 p.m.

My ideal offsite would have a continuous supply of snacks, including protein-rich snacks like cheese, nuts, and yogurt. We had a 2 p.m. delivery of energy bars and trail mix. The only thing that might have been better: Bacon.


5. Structure the social.

One side benefit of an offsite is that teams who don’t regularly work together have a chance to build rapport. To maximize this, plan a group dinner or activities during the offsite that encourage socializing. Mix up the seating and group assignments to shake up comfortable cliques and make new connections easier to forge.

At my recent offsite, we had plenty of chances to connect: A scavenger hunt and small group brainstorming sessions with randomly assigned teams, and a group dinner where everybody had freedom to mingle.


6. Let things sink in.


On the third day of our offsite, after a morning full of presentations and lively discussion, everyone was exhausted. When we wrapped up, my coworkers and I headed to the airport – where we all agreed it was OK to not talk to one another for awhile.

Introverts need time alone to recharge. Everyone benefits from some quiet space to process the new ideas that have been stirred up, to pick up loose threads of thought and follow them to interesting places.

The best way to conclude an offsite is with a little quiet space. End early. Send people home for the afternoon, or encourage them to take some hours off on the following day. Jumping right back into workday stress (compounded by a few days out of the office, yikes) is a sure way to wipe out the fresh ideas that you invested so much time and effort in cultivating.


What do you think of offsite meetings? What are some of the best and worst things that you’ve experienced?

8 Ways to Rock a Conference Call

I spend a lot of time on the phone. Talking to people is a big part of my job, and most of the people I need to talk to aren't in the same building or even the same city. I've been on awesome conference calls, I've been on unfortunate conference calls, and I've facilitated my share of both.

I've compiled these tips based on some of the best calls I've observed, the ones where I hang up the phone and think "Wow, we got a lot done!" or "I can't wait to get working on this project!"

Here are 5 tips for facilitators, and 3 for attendees. I'd also love to hear your tips.

If you're leading the call...

1. Send a detailed meeting invitation. In the meeting description, let your invitees know what the meeting is about, why you invited them, and what action you expect from them both before and during the meeting. Include your conference call number, link to the Sametime meeting (if applicable), and attachments or links to any documents you'd like your participants to review. If you need to add details later, open the invite on your calendar and save the updates directly into the meeting invitation. Nobody enjoys starting a meeting by scrambling through a cluttered Inbox trying to find all the details.

2. Get to know your conference line. I recently learned that, on my company's conferencing system, you can press *5 to mute all lines except your own. This is perfect if you're experiencing background noise, or if one of your attendees is eating a crunchy sandwich or puts you on hold. Just be sure to tell your participants to press *6 to un-mute if they'd like to ask a question or make a comment.

Our system has a default setting in which a robotic voice instructs callers: "Please state your name, then press the pound key." One day, I called into my own conference line and didn't press 1 to begin my meeting. I stayed on the phone with the friendly robot to listen to what other options she had for me. It turned out, this feature could be turned off. I like to think that anyone who dials into one of my conference calls is getting precious seconds of his or her life back.

3. Boost interactivity with online meetings. I recently attended a meeting where the presenter used the Sametime Whiteboard to brainstorm ideas with 30 people. It was great: Everyone got a chance to be heard, nobody talked over one another, and lots of great ideas were captured. Other fun tools include screen sharing, live polls, and group chat. Group chat and hand-raising are handy ways for large audiences to ask questions without interrupting the speaker.

4. Mind the time. If your meeting's agenda is packed with multiple topics or speakers, allocate a time for each, and clearly communicate it to all presenters well in advance. Build in some buffer time and schedule Q&A at the end of your call, so that none of your speakers feel rushed.

Do you or your presenters tend to ramble? (I do!) Have a designated timekeeper on your call watch the clock and send speakers an instant message with 5-minute and 2-minute warnings when it's time to wrap up. If there's just NO way you can fairly cover a topic in 15 minutes, give it the time it deserves and set up a dedicated call.

Ending on time is a basic courtesy, but to rock your call, end 5 minutes early, The best gift that you can give to a coworker who's been on back-to-back conference calls all day is a sweet little 5-minute respite to stretch, get something to drink, or use the restroom before the next meeting.

5. Don't read your slides. Think of your PowerPoint deck as a complement to your presentation, not as the presentation itself. If you're using your slides to anchor key points of your presentation, be brief (7-10 words per key point, up to 3 key points per slide). If you're including the slides as reference material, you can be more verbose, but resist the urge to read the slides aloud to your audience. Your spoken commentary should include examples, stories, and context for the points in your presentation.

If you're a participant...

6. Do your pre-work. Set aside some time at the beginning of the week and at the beginning of each day to look through your upcoming meetings. Is there any pre-work or reading required? Do you have a good understanding of what's expected of you and what each meeting will be about?

7. Know the difference between listening and waiting for your turn to speak. I'm one of those extraverted people who's very excited to share my own ideas, so I've had to make a conscious effort to listen more closely. I take copious notes. Taking notes on others' comments helps me listen and absorb their ideas more effectively. Jotting down my own ideas helps me remember them and clear them out of my mind so I can give others my full attention.

8. Resist the multi-tasking urge. I can't tell you to stop multi-tasking altogether, but know that you can't rock a conference call unless you're truly present. Switch your instant message status so it automatically shows that you're in a meeting. If that doesn't work, change to "Do Not Disturb" or sign out altogether. I have found that signing out of email, while scary at first, is a good way to minimize distraction.

If I'm feeling incredibly restless, sometimes I'll pick up a physical task such as cleaning. My hands are occupied, but my ears and brain are on the conference call. I've been known to remove and clean under every key on my keyboard, just so I could keep my attention focused on a really important call (and because, frankly, it was kind of gross under there).

You're not going to rock every call. There will always be calls that are just plain old status updates, short and utilitarian run-downs of straightforward facts. But when it really counts, when you're making decisions or charting new courses or looking to WOW an audience, try some of these tricks and perhaps your call will be the one everyone remembers.

Never Microwave Fish in the Break Room (and other career advice)

1. If the question begins with "Can you?" the answer is almost always "Yes."

At a few pivotal points in my career, my managers asked me questions beginning with "Can you..." and ending with something that I'd never done before. "Can you write a business case?" "Can you lead a WebEx meeting?" "Can you prepare a SWOT analysis?" I said Yes each time, knowing that between the company's resources, Google, and Amazon.com, I could find the information I needed to learn those skills and complete the task at hand.

Through this approach, I've discovered my own talents and interests, as when my spontaneous offer to teach a class about payroll taxes led me toward a rewarding 3-year stint as a corporate trainer and instructional designer. In other cases, I've bumped against my limits - A painful sojourn with Microsoft Access taught me to cross "data analyst" off my list of prospective career paths.

I'm not saying you should be dishonest or oversell your experience, but most of us undersell our capabilities because we're waiting for someone to give us training or permission to acquire a new skill. Have courage in your own resourcefulness and take a request to do something new as an invitation to learn.

2. Sometimes you have to butter your toast with a screwdriver.

Have you ever been asked to do something using entirely the wrong tool? It's hard and it's awkward and tempting to just bail on the whole project or wait for the technology to be perfect before moving forward. That was how it felt 3 years ago, when employee social networking was new at the bank. We had a clunky old tool in which discussion forums required multiple clicks into folders and nobody had a profile photo. Because the outcome (connecting employees to each other online) was worthwhile, the core team of believers channeled our inner McGyvers and made it work, moving the project forward.

You won't always have the right tool to easily accomplish your goals, but if your goals are worth fighting for, you can still make progress through creativity and persistence. Butter your toast with a screwdriver. When you have the option, ask politely for a butter knife.

3. Never microwave fish in the break room.

Remember that you don't work alone. No matter where you sit, no matter what you do, the actions that you take have an impact on other people.

Also, fish smells gross.

4. I'm rubber, you're glue.

Remember the old playground taunt, "Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you?" There's a grain of truth here that can serve you well in your career.

The things you say about other people reflect on your own brand. If you describe every coworker as stubborn, or difficult to work with, or other less tactful terms, those words are actually shaping people's perception of you. This is why you so often see authors giving glowing testimonials on one another's book jackets: If I describe someone else's work as innovative or captivating, then people will associate those words with me.

There's a mistaken perception that you have to cut down others to get ahead or promote your own brand - This approach can only take you so far, before everyone around you catches on that the common theme in all of your toxic work relationships is you.


5. Whether you choose to find fault or you choose to find possibility, you'll have no trouble finding it.

The simplest but most important lesson that I've learned in my career is that my attitude is my choice. I choose to believe in my strengths and those of the people with whom I'm privileged to work. I choose to give people the benefit of the doubt and take an optimistic approach to my life and work.

It's very easy to find faults in any complex system: A company, a family, a society. Focusing on the faults reveals more faults, and it quickly becomes a reinforcing loop. Taking an appreciative approach, and focusing on the strengths and gifts and possibilities in the workplace, is a much more rewarding and enjoyable way to spend one's career.

Also, salads make great lunches.