Work-Life Balance

As I'm typing this, I am hoping against hope that a certain sleepy toddler doesn't wake up. My 20-month-old son Felix woke up this morning with the telltale runny nose and eye gunk that said "Change your plans, Mom." I got him dressed in hopes that he'd perk up and we could send him off to daycare - but when I felt his forehead, I knew that all bets were off. And so I'm home, in my living room, listening to the quiet house and sitting in silent awe of my own life and the delicate thing that we call "work-life balance."


I used to hate the phrase "work-life balance," and I insist it's a false dichotomy. Work is very much a part of my life, and my personal life informs and shapes my professional perspective.


But the more I think about it, especially now that I have two small human beings in my care, the more I understand that it is a balancing act as complex and awe-inspiring as anything you'll see in Cirque de Soleil.


I have a theory that I call "The Rule of 4." There are four great endeavors which can consume an adult's energy:

1.Working
2.Going to school
3.Caring for children
4.Maintaining a home life

Most emotionally healthy adults can reasonably expect to do exactly two of these things well at any given time. You can focus on three in short bursts - e.g., finishing up your degree while working and having kids, but only because you know that it's only one semester, you have a fridge full of Red Bull, and nobody minds that your house looks to be three days away from a Hoarders intervention. The Rule of 4 is also a great excuse to rationalize hiring a housekeeper.


My days are very full. My alarm goes off at 4:30, and I often wake up fairly certain that I forgot something. Is it pajama day at school? Are there field trip permission slips to turn in? Did I bring my laptop home last night? Do I have a meeting that requires me to dress more competently than usual?


When I was 25 and childless, I would never have believed that I'd wake up at such an unholy hour and maintain a cheerful attitude to boot.


And yet, somehow, it balances. Some days, I feel like I'm stacking plates while riding a unicycle, but I grab more of them: Swimming lessons? Why not! Piano? Sure! Of course I can fit in trips to the gym and make a digital scrapbook for my mother! Perhaps I'll take up yoga and Pinterest, too, while I'm at it.


I was marveling at this today, while I was dialed into a conference call with Felix's fever-warmed head resting on my lap, Yo Gabba Gabba! playing in the background. I muted the phone and said "I love you," and for the first time ever, Felix said "Love you" right back.


There is a formula for this, I realized, and it's both simpler and more complex than my Rule of 4. It's love. Love (and my alarm clock) draw me out of bed and give me the energy for the people in my life - those who are related to me, and those with whom I work. Love makes it a no-brainer that I had to stay home today, and it's there in the trust that I have with my manager and my team, knowing that the work I'm responsible for will get done, when it needs to get done. Love also gives me the courage to say hard things, like telling my 5-year-old "I can't play with you now, I'm working" and know that she'll forgive me because I will keep my promises and play with her later.


I won't pretend that I was as productive today as I would have been in the office. I'll probably be online for awhile tonight, and may have to scramble a bit to meet my to-dos for later in the week. But I'll approach that work with love, enthusiasm, and gratitude because it meant I got to be here today. And that, to me, is work-life balance.

The Rhythm of Career Development

Last week, I had the exciting opportunity to be part of a panel on career development. Here are some of my speaker notes:

It's important not to confuse career development with career progression. Career progression is something that you can influence, but also depends on a multitude of factors. Career development, on the other hand, is within your control. You can tell your career is developing if you can look at the work you're doing today and say to yourself, "There's no way i could have done this a year ago." If you're smarter, braver, or more connected than you used to be, then you're moving forward, regardless of your job title.

I approach career development as a constant cycle of listening, learning, synthesizing, and sharing information. In this process, you're also building relationships around the knowledge you acquire and share.

Here's my ideal rhythm of career development activities:


Daily:

• Be in conversation with interesting people. Do this in person and online. Approach your interactions, inside and outside of work, with an open and curious mind.


• Say Yes often. You'll learn more, and people will like you more.


• Keep an ongoing list of things to check out when you have time: Book recommendations, websites, magazine articles that you hear about in passing.

Weekly:

• Make time to read. Go through the list of articles or books that you've been compiling. Spend a half hour reading a blog, news site, or forum that pertains to your area of interest and development. Scan the headlines and click into the articles that speak to you. In my line of work, I draw a lot of value from the corporate communications information on http://www.ragan.com/ and the technology news on http://www.mashable.com/.


• Share something. Whether it's on your work blog or Facebook or a friendly conversation with a coworker, pass along a bit of knowledge or insight that you've learned and think that someone else would appreciate knowing. As a bonus, you're building your brand as someone who is insightful and generous with your knowledge.


• Send recognition. Set a weekly calendar reminder (mine is on Friday mornings) and think through all the people you've worked with this week who might deserve thanks or recognition. My company has an online program that lets us send e-cards and buttons, but a simple e-mail or wall post will suffice. It takes a few minutes to send a nomination, but the positive impact can resonate for years.

Monthly:

• Dig a little deeper. Attend a webinar (there are many excellent free ones out there), download and read a white paper, or listen to a TED talk (http://www.ted.com/) or podcast. Take a community education seminar in your neighborhood. You can do this alone or enlist a teammate and enhance your learning by sharing and discussing it.


• Create something. Career development isn't just about soaking up knowledge - it's about synthesizing and sharing that knowledge for the benefit of others. For me, it's this blog. I'm not sure who will read this, but if someone draws value from any of these words or ideas, then I have created some good in the world, and that feels like career development to me.


• Make a difference for someone. Reach out and do some mentoring. If you think it's too early in your career to be a mentor at your company, volunteer with Junior Achievement or see if your college has an alumni/student mentoring program. Mentoring isn't the only way to make a difference. Sometimes it's taking an hour of your day to help somebody with a task that's nowhere near your job description.
  

Once or twice a year:

• Change your scenery. Bust out of your daily routine and go to a conference or seminar in a different city. While you're there, forget about the day-to-day and immerse yourself in the learning experience. Take copious notes and be prepared to present and/or blog about it when you return to work.


• Set a goal that scares you. Whether it's writing a book, running a marathon, or earning the job of your dreams - you don't have to tell anyone what it is - but keep it in your own mind, and think of what you could do today, next week, and next month that might help you get there.